hey honey take a walk on the wild side


            Once upon a time, I placed myself in a box. I built up walls and found myself safe between it's four corners that I'd sat myself in. It was here that I couldn't ever fail because I'd set up nothing that was unattainable for me to reach for. But trust me when I say that I hadn't always been that way. Once I'd been a wild child, fit as a queen to conquer the world and everything in it until I'd become struck down by fear. But time and it's endless possibilities didn't wait around. No, it moved on, while I stayed behind in that box protected by it's four corners.

            I've been trying something new: stepping out of that comfort zone - and it's a battle with everything every time I step out. My anxieties and my fears try to eat me up, but I have yet to be disappointed. That doesn't mean it isn't always easy or what I expected, but ultimately it has led only to positive outcomes.

          I stepped out of my comfort zone, and I've gotten so much more out of life as I've lived by that decision. I took myself on an adventure. I told a boy I liked him. I stood up for myself in front of others trying to tear me down. I dared myself to go out and surround myself with new people despite my introverted-ness. A year ago if you would have told me I did all this, I would have stared in disbelief. And although these feats may be but small hills to others, to me they are mountains that I haven't just climbed but mountains that I have moved. I thank God everyday for giving me that courage, and I thank him too for placing the right people in my life at just the right time to encourage me to step farther out.

            I've entered a new chapter in my life and I am so far out of my comfort zone. A month ago I graduated college. I walked the stage with a huge smile on my face, excitement in my heart and butterflies in my stomach. I made it. I always tried to imagine what it would be like as a child and it seemed so far away and so out of this world, because being a college graduate was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. All I know is that sitting in that auditorium, listening to the words of encouragement and well wishes from people I'd never seen before, I'd reached some new sense of clarity. A clarity sometimes I find myself struggling to find again. Because life started again - after all I am still no where near the person I wish to be.

            I remember deciding then and there that I would always do what makes me happy and I would not settle for less than what God had made me capable of. Looking out into the next year, I can honestly say I have no earthly idea what this year will bring me, what city I'll be living in, what people I'll find myself around. I've truthfully been holding on so tightly to this world I've been given in this city I moved to three years ago. Moving to Chattanooga was hands down the scariest but best decision I ever made, but in these three years I've built within it a comfort zone, and my heart keeps telling me - it's time to step out.

Run from what's comfortable. Forget safety. 
Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious.
- Rumi

- s.l. 
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